I hav nothing to say...............

Again I didn't eat anithing since the last post...... I did however drink up the wazooo! Had a nice fk session and then watched a movie I will weigh myself in the morn.

I am terribly angry I need inspiration I tried to show gabos just how seductive I can be and I get rejected aaaaahahh I hate it!!!!!! And to top it of b&b were totally boring today noooooo interest for me today
I went toeat and halfway to eating I puked it al out!!! Its a sign!! I need to continue this fasting

With all the stresst going on today it was a breeze not eating today.... I even remembered to take all my vitamins and now I need to allow myself some calorie intake that has calcium since I'm not consuming food and taking ibuprofen for my pains I am weaking my bones so if I hurt myself with a tmble or leasure it won't go well. I'm scared as much as I am not scared but tomorrow I get to weigh myself and c if things are going well I expect at least 5lbs per week if not more. I really forced myself to do things today even tho I felt weak tru the whole day I think a lot had to do with lack of sleep. I will be sleeping well tonight so I expect better performance tomarow.

I didn't post yesterday because my friend begged me to eat yesterday and so I did I hav no idea wat my calorie intake was much less fat and carb consumption nor sugars or proteins. I suk I'm an idiot I will now have to fast for 7 strait days

Today I allowed myself 120 calorie intake mostly to combat the acidic liquids I've beek having to deal with in the morning. And it hels with the nausea. I'm ok with this 120 cals a day is definitely better than over 2000! Anyday. I am drinking lots o water keeping hydrated ^_^ plus all the dancing iv been doing is great exercise. I'm having lots o fun. No hunger pains today or even the feeling of hunger so I'm very hapeee and proud of that I can't help myself I still weigh 254lbs but maybe if I exercise more it will go down. Thers gotta be a difference in weight within the next few days thers just gotta. Otherwise I'm gonna go insane....

monday 1:33 am

So I allowed myself 50 calories of consumption today and feel like a failure I couldn't hold the hunger pains and anyway I still have them so it was a total waste of calorie intake if it only made my hunger grow.....
After day 5 of fasting I am really starting to feel the effects around my tummy, chest, and throat. I can't seem to feel sleepy at the right times tho I was sleepy earlier and slept a lil but could not stay asleep then finally when I was totally awake that's when gabos decides to go to sleep ugh well I couldn't go to sleep so I stay up play a game for a while and now I'm trying to get into bed but am still quite awake, however I know I am doing well because I actually was able to keep the place decent so now maybe if I continue this way this place will kickass in just a few days ^_^
Can't wait to see results in two more days....
I am still proud of myself

ok today is a little different i still feel hungry but im just ignoring it the thing is that today i have hunger pains......
im trying to look up info on wat to do
wat i found:
"the hunger actually hurts at first but with time you get used to it you eventually accept hunger as part of needing and wanting to be slim"
and:
it takes about a week of strict starvation to get used to it and it wont hurt anymore

so.....
im optimistic
today is day 5 so i got 2-3 days to go

saturday february 26

one of the first things i did was weigh my self i hadnt weighed myself since wednesday

the scale read 254lbs!!!!!!!!
ha haha ha
i AM SOOOOOOO HAPEEEEE!!!

i havent eaten anything except coffee

so far it helps me supress hunger and speeds up metabolism
i am also starting to take vitamins to keep up my energy
and taking a slimming pills as well
i feel really good about this
no pains yet but i can definitely feel the hunger
there is no way i am giving in after those results
if i keep loosing lbs this fast i will be at my goal in no time ^_^
and as i see results it will giv me inspiration to keep goin

i weighed myself....... it was at 275lbs i have been at a plateau for about 5-6yrs now never getting past 300lbs but never getting under 250lbs either
i am completely sick and tired of being this way i feel like my body is not my own i act and feel a certain way but as soon as i happen to pass by my reflection anywhere or c my shadow i become confused THAT IS NOT ME!!!!!!! i have no idea what i have been waiting for to lose this weight
i know i gained it during my depression but I'm the only one who can make a change in the matter
i guess i have been waiting for a certain somebody to give me the courage, the inspiration, and the will power to begin the journey to being healthy

well i am waiting no longer for any help... i am doing this completely by myself
\i am going pro ana
i dont care what anybody thinks
i once went over it and thought maybe i can tweak it so i wont starve myself but definitely use the tips they do to suppress hunger and gain will power

well.....
today ( feb 23) is my first day